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Love, Purpose, and Life's Little Imperfections > Break up

Hi. My issue is that I'm going through a break up. Lets face it, everyone goes through it at one point but the problem with mine is that the ex has gone on continuing his life as perfectly as possible. He's attending and hosting grad parties, and going to concerts, and putting up pictures with girls, and I don't know how to face it.
He was the one who ended it, btw.

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNZC

I'm sorry about the painful break-up! Never easy, but clearly made worse when you believe that he's gone on without you and is having lots of fun. Or at least that's how it looks in pictures. Might be wise to let your friends know that you don't want to be kept up on his whereabouts, and then try not to check out his posts (if you can help yourself!) I'm not so sure that moving right on (as he seems to be doing) is the best way to handle a break-up...it may torpedo you past the pain, but it doesn't deal with the dissolution of the relationship. You can take some time (while you are feeling bad) to reflect on what happened, what went awry, contemplate whether or not he was the guy you thought he was, did you notice any signs that the end was coming, were you being honest with yourself about how you felt and how things were going? It's so important to "get through" the upset and the feelings and not just stuff them down deep inside and put on a happy face. If you can process this painful experience, you can better move on in a healthy way. If you don't, you run the risk of making the mistakes again in the future since you won't understand what happened this time around. As I often say to my patients, if you don't look closely at what happened and try to make sense of it, then you may very well end up repeating the same pattern (and finding yourself heart-broken) in the next relationship. Don't let that happen! Make this an opportunity to understand yourself and your needs better. Knowing yourself will only help you find someone more fitting to know and love you in the future. Good luck!

March 10, 2010 | Registered CommenterCatherine Birndorf

I would recommend blocking or deleting him as a friend on Facebook or MySpace so that you don't constantly see his posts. The one thing you'll absolutely need to get over him is time and distance.

April 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDarnnell

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January 16, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterfsag