Love, Purpose, and Life's Little Imperfections > Waiting
Wating---for anything----can be frustrating and anxiety making. It is hard to focus on anything or anyone else. I think you will find that once you KNOW one way or the other your dilemma will resolve itself. You will then be able to take the next step in your life. However in the meantime and with this resolution in mind try to be genuinely happy for your boy friend: ask him how he feels, what his plans are. Give him an unexpected hug or kiss or loving touch, tell him you're proud of him. Tough? Maybe but you will feel alot better about yourself and you know your news will come soon.
Go for it!
maggie
I was just checking in on the mess of the day and found that Maggie had responded to Alexandra's "waiting" post! Great and thoughtful advice and it makes me so happy to know that women are helping each other in the rooms of their house. As you said, Alexandra, your current chaos feels like it's happening in lots of rooms, but I think the title of your post, and Maggie's reply help you identify the biggest and most bothersome issue: anxiously awaiting news of your next step in life - and this is the current source of your distress right now. Totally understandable. But as Maggie points out, until the news arrives, you have to continue to live your life, but not burn bridges because you are feeling so uncertain (and maybe powerless or helpless? not good feelings for a budding doctor!) So as much as you can, acknowledge what the problem seems to be, accept that you feel cranky, and talk about this with those who can listen. But once you identity and isolate the main source of your distress, try not to let it spill into or contaminate every room of your emotional house (you have to shut the door sometimes!) One of the key processes or strategies from the book that applies here: It's not either or, but both and...meaning: you can feel both irritated and jealous (of your BF's acceptance and the fact that his wait is over), but also be happy for and proud of him with his great news. Both diametrically opposed feelings can be true at the same time...and don't make you an emotionally dishonest person. It's appropriate, though not always comfortable, to feel this conflict. And hopefully, your wait won't be much longer! Best of luck, Catherine Birndorf
Catherine Birndorf
You'll be happy to know that I got my first acceptance yesterday and I'm cleaning up every single room! Thank you to both Maggie and Catherine for the thoughtful advice.
Alexandra
Just wanted to say my congratulations!! Way to go. Hope you are doing something special to celebrate the moment and enjoy your accomplishment! Catherine
Catherine Birndorf
Thank you! Definitely some celebrating and today I was put on the waiting list at my top choice school... Time will tell... Either way, I start med school in the fall! :)
Alexandra
I don't know if this is just one area.... I'm waiting for my medical school acceptance letters and painfully jealous of my boyfriend who just got an acceptance letter to his top school. I should be happy for him and really truly am, but I have this overwhelming jealousy toward him right now. Last week we were having sex (after going out to celebrate his acceptance) and our birth control method failed. Obviously I did what I should the next morning to prevent an unwanted pregnancy but I'm still waiting for my period just to be sure. The past week I've been a mess in every area of my life. I've been cranky at work, short with my friends, and resentful toward my boyfriend. This is not who I am, and I honestly don't know what area of my life needs fixing to deal with this. Is it my relationship? Or is it anxiety about my career? Or concern about our mishap?