Since I can remember, I have hated my body. As a child, I hated the fact that I was tall (which was pointed out to me by family, teachers and classmates). By the second grade, I hated my body because I was the first girl in school to need a bra and in the fifth grade for getting my period first and being different for it. By middle school and high school, it was my braces and really bad acne. I started gaining weight in college which I was able to take off if I worked out three hours a day every week. I could not keep that up after I graduated and I gained over 100 pounds since. I've tried programs, the gym and I can lose about 20 pounds and that is it so I stop as I feel like a complete faillure. My doctors tell me that I'm in good health (e.g., cholesterol is normal, insulin is perfect, etc.), but I'm fat so get rid off the weight.

The good news is that I have a boyfriend who loves me very much exactly as I am and he was not the first guy to feel that way about me since I gained the weight. The way I feel about my body, this hatred of it, is affecting my relationship with him (he doesn't like me asking him why he thinks I'm beautiful) and my ability to look for a new job (currently unemployed).

From reading the book, I realized that most of my issues are in the "bathroom", but I have no idea of how to address it. Please help.

Well Kimberly I think you're really lucky to have such a great boyfriend. I'm pretty much the same as you in terms of being overweight but in great health (although opposite in that my boobs didn't arrive til my late teens and I was one of the last girls to get their period!) Think you need to take a look at your issues and decide if you want to change these things or if you're happy the way you are. If you're happy the way you are then great - you can stop listening to those nagging voices in the basement that make you feel like you're not perfect. If you're not happy then find something you want to change and take baby steps towards it. I would advise that you stop asking your boyfriend why he loves you as this is a sure fire way to make him look for the escape hatch (it did the same thing with my ex so I speak from experience there). You have to accept that he loves you without questioning why as men do eventually get tired of validating the women in their lives (hell - if he fancies you then why question it - revel in it!)
Hope you find some answers by looking on the inside and not looking to someone else to make you feel special because you ARE special!

I have struggled with these same feelings: made to feel like an outcast in school because I was different in some way, body issues, ect. Until one day, I just got tired of it. Tired of caring about it, tired of it eating at me, tired of it controlling my life. I looked the self-doubt in the eye and just said "I don't care." I don't care if I'm not skinny, I don't care that I'm single, I'm going to take myself out of this equation and let the doubt and anxiety and feelings of inadequacy fight amongst themselves...I'm out! It felt like a nasty fog was lifted and I've been skipping ever since.

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