Terms and Definitions
Seeds: These are the complaints that tell you something’s wrong, the negative inner voice you hear when you are down, annoyed or dissatisfied in one area of your life. A seed signals what you want to change and where to start first (what room).
“I’m sick of living in this mess!” tells you to get to the place where you deal with chores and specifically the division of labor, the kitchen, where you enlist the help of your spouse, or roommates, or whoever is living together under the same roof. In the book, these “seeds of discontent” are the little complaints that can lead to bigger problems if you don’t take care of what’s bothering you. They also tell you were to start.
Key Processes: these are strategies that are helping you make changes in your behavior and shift the dynamic in a relationship for the better. There are nine in the book but you can use others that may work as well. See the “strategies” Cheat Sheet in the book for the key processes we offer as the starting point for change.
Pearls: the little mantras or mottos, the takeaway idea encapsulated into a simple, memorable message to think about later. A pearl can be any little saying that works for you and makes you feel better, more in control or appreciate how happy you are. One of my favorite pearls, when I catch myself living in the past, lamenting over good times and how to have more of them, is simply: Now is it! You can make THIS your happy moment, if you choose to do so. And then in the future you'll be looking back at... now! For more pearls check out the book.