I came from a family that was strictly divided into "the divorced" and "the happily married". The divorced ones had been through no less than three spouses each.....when they divorced it became a serial process. The happily married ones were staying together no matter what. "Happy" was a relative term. Because they had managed to tolerate one another and not leave, they believed they were happy even if they fought continually and would have been 'happier' separate.

I'm now stuck in a marriage of 22 years that is a sham. My husband fully expects me to be there until the end of time even though we no longer have a relationship. We occupy the same house, have no children, and really no common interests. Our love for one another has eroded over the years to the point that he threatened physical violence last summer. I don't believe he would ever make good on such a threat but I don't know him anymore and I can't trust my gut feelings about him. I don't want to be divorced......it sounds silly but it is holding me back from making the break I need for my own sanity. I don't want to belong to the 'divorced group" in my family. I married with that in mind - that this was forever because I would never divorce no matter what happened, short of physical abuse. Well I didn't know about emotional abuse at that time.....but I do now.

It's just that idea that has me paralyzed.....I can't move forward. I'm in therapy and even my therapist can't seem to get me to understand that I need to take this step for myself. I'm stuck in the attic.

It sounds like you are allowing shame and pride to keep you from obtaining real happiness in life. Don't be afraid of what others think or say about you. You are a child of God and deserve all of his blessings and favor just like everyone else. Swallow that foolish pride, and tell shame to take a hike, and that you are not living the rest of your life in misery!